Spring and Summer Parenting Present Unique Challenges
by Barrett Vanlandingham
Fort Faith, April 29, 2008


Parenting seemed so much easier before I became a parent. It’s that time of year when good times are in the air. Spring and summer parties, outings, and events abound.
Having said that, another Fort Gibson Prom is already in the history books. And by now, a lot of parents and students who strive for a moral lifestyle have no doubt been wondering whether their money was well spent.
Students in Fort Gibson spent between $100 and $1000 on going to the prom depending on the cost of their tux, dress, transportation (car, limo, or helicopter), and where they go out to eat beforehand, flowers, and $100 for a ticket, or $200 if you’re taking a date (unless they sold candy to reduce their ticket cost).
I spoke with school officials beforehand about this year’s prom. They said they would do their best to make sure it was better in terms of students’ behavior than in past years. As a youth minister, I have spoken with parent sponsors and students over the last six years. Each year, I receive the same reports. “It’s expensive and immoral.” Others say, “It’s fun.”
This year’s comments regarding behavior have been all good, a stark contrast from previous years. One school official said this year’s graduating class has been a positive example all year, and did an outstanding job of setting a positive tone for the prom. He said the underclassmen followed the example of the seniors, and that made for a great prom. Plus, there was a well-supervised after-party at the old gym that provided fun entertainment including giant inflatables and a hypnotist.
A couple of years ago, one chaperon said he couldn’t believe “how nasty some of the kids were dancing.” School officials say chaperons make their presence known, but some kids are going to misbehave on the dance floor regardless. And the slow dances are not the problem anymore. Chaperons say it’s the other kind of dancing where students are all over each other if they’re not kept apart. School officials say that’s why we have only one dance the entire school year.
Chalk it up to good parenting, good luck, good DNA, good teaching, good prayer, but whatever it is, the problems associated with past proms are not at all representative of this year’s event, according to the adults and students I spoke with afterwards.
Spiritually speaking, I am not sure that going to the prom is any worse (and it might be better) than going to other activities where immorality occurs. For instance, pro-sports events where beer is free flowing and belligerent fans are usually within a few seats away (even if they haven’t been drinking!). Which is worse: dirty dancing, low-cut dresses and lust, or drunken and belligerent sports fans? One event exposes us to the sins of drunkenness and loss of self-control. The other exposes us to the promotion of sexual sins. How about taking your family to eat at restaurants that serve alcohol? Even people who oppose immoral dancing often find themselves at restaurants where our kids get to watch people knock back one pitcher of beer or margaritas after another.
So, what’s a Christian parent to do? Good question! It depends on their parenting philosophy. Some allow their kids to participate in an activity so they can test their faith and see close-up “what goes on” as long as they maintain Christian values. Other parents will provide an alternative so their children will not be tempted. Still other parents will state their disapproval, but tell their kids to do what they want.
One thing is for sure. Parenting begins at birth, not on the day of the prom, the date, the movie, the water park, and not when we send them off to college. If we haven’t taught our kids how to apply Christian values by the time they’re old enough to be tempted, we’re in for a rocky road. But that doesn’t mean we can ever stop being Christian parents. We have a responsibility to continue setting the example and offering biblical advice to our children all the days of our life, even though we ourselves have messed up and continue to make mistakes. Our children need to know that after they fail, we will be there to dust them off and help put them back on the right path even though there still may be consequences to deal with.
Make no mistake about it, there is a lot hanging in the balance of our decisions. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The apostle Paul has this to say, “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Philippians 2:12-13).”
May God bless our efforts as we allow God’s Spirit to work within us as we seek His guidance in making decisions for our children.

Ever-changing Weather Patterns
vs.
Un-changing Hand of God
by Barrett Vanlandingham
Fort Faith - April 22, 2008

Unless you’re someone like my brother who likes to brag about riding his motorcycle in the cold, wind, and rain, most of us “casual bikers” are looking forward to at least a few days of consistent weather of the drier variety.
Sometimes I wonder how such a consistent, dependable, un-changing God can be the God of such inconsistency, especially when it comes to Oklahoma weather. After all, the apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace.”
Those two ways of thinking seem to be at odds with each other until you think about you think about how big God really is. God created the heavens and the earth and everything in it (Genesis 1). So, who are we say that earthly inconsistencies are inconsistent at all? Isn’t it just possible that things that make absolutely no sense to us make perfect sense to our Creator who knows exactly what His creation needs?
God may test His people (1 Thessalonians 2:4, 1 Corinthians 3:13), and may send trials (James 1:2-4). But we can be assured that God does NOT send temptations (James 1:13-15) which can either come from us or from the devil as was the case when Jesus was fasting in desert before beginning His ministry (Matthew 4).
Matthew 5:45 says, “…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”
Remember the story of a very stubborn preacher named Jonah who was vomited onto dry land after being in the belly of a big fish for three days? That happened to get Jonah’s attention after he refused to obey God and go preach to the wicked city of Nineveh. So, after praying to God from inside the belly of the fish, and eventually unraveling the seaweed from his head, and probably having quite a clean-up job to do, Jonah finally agreed to go to Nineveh.
Upon hearing Jonah’s message of impending doom, the people there actually turned from their evil ways! Therefore, God changed His mind about destroying them. Then, believe it or not, Jonah became angry because of God’s great compassion (Jonah 4). After all, the Ninevites were extremely violent and cruel.
So, Jonah who was apparently a better preacher than a builder sat under a shelter he made for himself while waiting to see what God’s next move would be for Nineveh. Little did Jonah know that God was about to teach him another lesson. God provided a vine to give Jonah some shade to “ease his discomfort.” Jonah was happy about that, especially since the shelter he had made for himself apparently wasn’t doing the trick. But, the next morning, God sent a worm to eat the vine, then shortly thereafter a scorching east wind and sun that blazed on Jonah’s head. This made Jonah “angry enough to die.”
God said, “You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not make it grow…” God went on to tell Jonah of the importance of showing concern for Nineveh, a city of people who “cannot tell their right hand from their left…”
The fact is, we live in a broken world, the land of the dying. If earth were a perfect place, we would have nothing to look forward to. Just like Jonah, we created nothing, not even a blade of grass. God created everything. None of us here in Fort Gibson is qualified to give the final word on how God should operate. I, for one, would not like the idea of living on a planet in which the one in control was just another person. Yikes!
Let’s all pray today that God will help each of us have the kind of faith that will allow us to trust God even when the storms of life make no sense to us (Proverbs 3:4-5).